Timothy Dimoff Kindness Matters

Kindness is the Cornerstone for Personal and Business Success

One of the most important things I have realized throughout my life has been kindness matters. It seems like such a simple, straightforward concept to grasp, but sadly, it is routinely forgotten in everyday interactions. Without kindness, you can have significant personal and professional problems. As the saying goes, “What comes around goes around.” The Bingo Theory My mother had a theory I coined “The Bingo Theory” (The YOU in Business, pg.25). It reinforces the Law of Attraction, which states, “what you think about you bring about.” My mother took this concept and applied it to winning at bingo. This was her thought: whenever she won at bingo, she would share her winnings with her family. Why? She believed that if she gave a part of her winnings, it would not only bring joy to her loved ones, but she would continue to win. You know what? She was right! An act of kindness to her family brought increased success to her on a monetary/personal level. When I connected the dots, I realized she was onto something: Being kind to others is a “win-win.” Courage and Strength Being friendly, generous, and considerate not only makes the recipient feel good;...

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Career Mentoring

Career Mentoring is Key for Success

You only know as much as you know. Sounds obvious, doesn’t it? Most people do not acknowledge this, especially those struggling to succeed in life. However, once this fact is acknowledged, there is an opportunity to step outside yourself and seek the help of another to further your professional life. That outside person is a mentor. Role Models and Fresh Perspectives According to the American Society for Training and Development, 75% of executives say mentoring is an important element for career development. We are social creatures after all, so turning to a trusted advisor who provides valuable knowledge, insight and encouragement can be an essential element for professional success. Why? Because a good mentor will “tell it to you straight”, while encouraging you to be better. However, do not mistake a mentor for someone that has all the answers and whose job it is to tell you what to do. You must fully engage, by being honest with yourself and sharing those insights with your mentor, and most importantly fully listening to your mentor by asking questions. In other words, a beneficial mentoring relationship involves give and take. Overall, mentors are career coaches who help you make decisions and...

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Maintain and Attain Happiness

A Master Plan to Attain and Maintain Happiness

The holidays are upon us and the stress level is going up, up, and up! If you aren’t careful, “the happiest season of all” can become the unhappiest season of all. The key is to not let the negative aspects of the season dominate your life. This is a good idea to focus on all year long. The trick is to develop a master plan to attain and maintain happiness. Finding the Silver Lining As humans, we are wired to dwell on the negative. As discussed in a previous blog, this is called the negativity bias. The negativity bias is the subconscious way we give more weight to bad experiences than good ones. This subconscious behavior needs to be identified and reversed before true happiness can be attained. A good way to overcome a negative mindset is to conduct a little self-discovery. It is important to note that the definition of happiness varies from person to person. What one person reacts positively to, can cause someone else to react negatively. In other words, dig deeper into what does and does not make YOU and only you happy. This is where a well-being assessment is useful. It’s a way to...

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Effective Networking is Relationship Building

Tips to Evolve Everyday Networking into Relationship Building

By now everyone knows the most important way to find new customers, partners, employees, vendors or a job is by networking. If you are not talking to other professionals you are not growing professionally, bottom line. However, networking is not just meeting as many people as possible and hoping something “sticks”. The key is to evolve everyday networking into relationship building. This is where people who make a good first impression shine. The good news is, you can too by adopting simple tips to set the right tone and put your best foot forward during the initial contact. Adopt the Right Attitude We’ve all met the person whose conversation inevitably revolves around them. They can be succinctly described to another colleague by the following sentence; Enough about me, what do you think about me? Don’t be that person. The key to effective networking is to think of it as “relationship building” and not a “meet and greet” opportunity. The main goal of effective networking is to find out about the person right in front of you, not educate them about you. The opportunity to talk about yourself will present itself eventually but leading off an encounter by spewing out...

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Overcoming the Negativity Bias

How to Overcome the Negativity Bias to Succeed

Negative and positive experiences are a fact of life. However, our decision to dwell on one over the other is the difference between success and failure. In this blog I will discuss how we, as humans, have an inherent negative outlook on life that keeps us from reaching our potential and ways to overcome this subconscious behavior. Negative Usually Wins Ever had a fantastic day in which everything is going your way, only to have it erased when someone cuts you off when driving? Or how about, waking up looking forward to an event you have been planning for weeks (e.g. wedding or vacation), only to have it “ruined” because of the weather or an unforeseen development? Why? Because we, as human beings, are destined to fixate on the negative instead of the positive, which is otherwise known as the negativity bias. The negativity bias is the subconscious way we give more weight to bad experiences than a good one. In fact, some researchers have found that negative emotions are 3x stronger than positive emotions. According to Psychology Today, the reason humans internalize negative experiences so heavily stems from a very good reason: the need to survive during “fight...

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Lessons Learned from a Bad Job

As the year winds down, it’s a logical time to reflect on what has happened throughout the last twelve months. If you’ve endured a bad job this past year, be assured your time has not been wasted! Consider it as time served in the school of hard knocks. Honeymoon is Over Often bad jobs were ideal jobs when advertised. Most people agree that bad jobs often start out good, with everyone within the office on their best behavior and the boss engaged and ready to help. Sometimes the switch to nightmare scenario is gradual, and sometimes it’s immediate. However, you are not alone; most people have experienced disillusionment in their professional life and became stronger because it. Some popular reasons a position does not end up as advertised: Hiring manager leaves or is fired Role was not established or clearly defined internally Coworkers are overly competitive with one another Collaboration is frowned upon Manager(s) dictate tasks and do not lead by example Overall, when a job is awful, it is due to a toxic work environment. Even the worst jobs out there can be tolerable if an organization has a positive work culture, where the employees feel supported, valued...

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Keys to Success

Interpersonal Habits Anyone Can Adopt for Success

A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and eventually becomes a subconscious behavior. Habits can make or break you. Successful people know this and have cracked the code. They have learned that certain habitual behaviors can enable them to nourish their goals and turn those goals into achievements. However, true success is not measured by results alone. Remember the line in “It’s a Wonderful Life” starring Jimmy Stewart – “A toast to my big brother George, the richest guy in town!”? Why was George rich? Not because of his monetary wealth, but because he was rich in friends. What enabled George to have so many friends? The interpersonal habits adopted by the character. Therefore, to be truly successful, you must adopt habits to nurture interpersonal relationships on many levels. In a previous blog we discussed the importance of active listening. Although being an active listener is a key habit for success, successful people know it goes much deeper. You must demonstrate self-control and gratitude to achieve true success in life. Self-Control Self-control is what separates us from the animals. We as humans are not solely dependent upon “fight or flight”; we do have free will....

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Do you Live to Work or Work to Live?

Do You Live to Work or Work to Live?

This sounds like a trick question, but it is a matter of perspective. Traditionally people who “live to work” are considered workaholics and people who “work to live” are struggling to get by, and living paycheck to paycheck. However, these stereotypes aren’t always true. What is true is the need for balance in our busy American lives. It’s a Matter of Attitude Get up, get ready for work, go to work, work, come home from work, go to sleep, wake up and start all over again. For some Americans, this is a common way to describe life, day after day after day. This is a typical description of someone’s day who is “living to work”. This individual is consumed by work, with no time for personal happiness. This description can also be applied to someone who is “working to live”. These individuals seem to be running as fast as they can but getting nowhere. Once they are paid, the money goes toward bills/obligations and then it starts all over again. Where is the quality of life in this scenario? In both cases, a positive attitude can make all the difference in the world. We might not be able to...

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